Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Crimbo! Totally mental!

Wow. That was, like SO weird…

First we're at home and it's all normal (read: boring). Then suddenly me and my Amber are at my Norma and John's, Terry AWOL, and it’s, like, all stress, all the time. Next thing I know, Terry's back, and he's, like, brought all these presents with him, and he's all, "ho ho ho, it's Chrimble!", then he's all "Zzzzzzz, I'm sleeping". THEN we're back h0me and we've still got all the presents and I've got a HUMUNGA TOUNGE and new toys that, like, I haven't even had time to name yet, and – get this – my Terry has got a WHOLE NEW KIDNEY. That my Uncle John gave him. Like, how weird is that? I mean, if someone tried getting me a kidney for Christmas I'd be all, "no thanks, dude, you can buy me a proper present like everyone else does", but the way Terry's carrying on you'd think all his Christmases had come at once.

Terry = madder than a box of frogs. Confirmed.

Anyway, the main point of this entry is just to let yoos know I made me a calendar, and you can totally buy it and everything, and then yoos'll have pictures of me to hang on your wall every day of the year:

The Rubinman 2006 calendar

Happy Crimbo!

Rubin

Friday, December 02, 2005

red coat

She made me wear the RED COAT.



I could not BELIEVE it. Every single winter this happens. Every single winter. (Note: one winter it didn't happen but, it's like, who's counting? Answer: me.)

I mean, how many wolves have you seen wearing a RED COAT recently? One wolf? Two wolves? Or maybe how about NO WOLVES? Yeah, thought so. The things I have to do to get a walk around here.

So, anyways, I get the RED COAT on and I take Amber for her walk, and as we pass this building site thing, I notice that the workmen are all, "oooh, lookit the little poodle!" I mean, I didn't think anything off it at first; I just assumed they were talkin' about Amber and, well, yeah, she totally IS a bit of a poodle sometimes. It was only when I heard one of them go, "yeah, lookit its little red coat!" that I realised they were talkin' about ME.

Now, let's just get one thing straight right now. I am NOT a poodle. I am a Bichon Frise, and let me tell you, there is a BIG difference. See?

Poodle:


Bichon Frise:


I just get so sick of it, y'know? I mean, here I am, fierce and wild, and they got me dressed in a freakin RED COAT and builders are callin' me a POODLE. I am SO not happy about this. I think someone's shoes may be in for a little surprise tonight, let me tell yoos.

Smell ya,
Rubin